When I was 2 years old, I was on a camping trip in the mountains with my family and I put my arms around our friends dog to give it a hug and it bit my ear off, to where it was only hanging from a tiny piece of skin. My mom said that the doctors were unsure that they would be able to sew it back together because of how badly it was torn, but they did it. This was a very traumatic experience as a small child, but it didn’t surface as a serious issue until my adult life when I was bit a second time by a dog. After that, there was something that occurred inside my body and I was not able to sleep for almost 4 days. This was a difficult time in my life and very scary and I could not figure out what was happening to me and why I could not sleep. I soon discovered that it was a result of my trauma.
It’s changed everything for me in my life today. It’s been 18 years since the second bite and I still cannot sleep without herbal teas and medicines. The one thing that Ive learned through it all, is to be compassionate with myself. There are times when I get down about what I struggle with, but Ive learned to be gentle with myself and accept myself the way I am.
The most important thing is that I’ve learned is to learn to trust again because it is allowing me to heal in many ways. For several years I wouldn’t go near other dogs and was especially fearful of large ones. I avoided them and was upset with myself for having this fear. I gradually got closer to dogs in 2016 and learned to trust a little more, but I still had an issue with it.
Just 7 months ago Luna came into our lives. She is mainly meant for my friend, who is in a wheelchair and is in need of a support dog, but she has gradually been helping me to trust again and has been a great support to me as well.
The first week I met her, I was intimidated by her size and I would try and work through that fear by purposely sitting next to her on the couch and I could feel my body shaking and this bothered me a lot. My friend told me that she would never harm me and that she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and to trust. Everyday it has gotten better and we have bonded now. I can get close to her and put my arms around her and I know she will not hurt me. I feel so connected to her now and she is my best friend. I take her on hikes and we explore trails together. She continues to help me work through my fears and I help her work through hers❤️she came from a tough background as well so I feel like together we are good for each other.
These pictures were taken when her dad was in the hospital recently and I stayed with her for a week caring for her. I was with her in the garden in the early mornings before leaving for work and it was beautiful being with her and having my morning coffee while visiting all of the flowers and listening to the birds. These moments are precious to me and I’m so happy that I can also provide her with comfort and care when she needs it.
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